Yo, I am so psyched
for Invisible Force 2.
Please.
Invisible Force 1 was lame.
I'm all about Rising Tide.
Rising Tide? The Deep?
- Uh-huh.
- Translucent could kick the Deep's ass.
How? He's invisible.
That's, like, all he's got.
That's it.
Exactly.
He sneaks up on the Deep,
and then boom, motherfucker!
- Sit down.
- Until the Deep makes a shark
bite Translucent's dick off.
How's he gonna find his dick?
It's invisible.
Holy shit.
Benjy!
Get up. Get up, get up, get up.
Come on, Benjy.
Come on, come on.
Stay back.
Just stay the fuck back.
What are you smiling at?
Homelander?
You boys okay?
Can I... can I get a selfie?
Course you can.
The Seven's Queen Maeve
and Homelander
made another heroic save today,
stopping
a hijacked armored truck
on the streets of Brooklyn,
then staying behind
for a photo op
- with some very lucky fans.
- Nice to meet you.
- Jean?
- Thanks, Jennifer. And now...
So, this is pretty much
everything in one.
Bluetooth speakers.
It's in stereo,
so you can put it
all around your living room,
have some fun with it.
You said you have
a standard cable box, right?
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, then I need to get you an audio transmitter,
aptX Low Latency.
It makes it
so there's less audio lag,
and it's got
a standard optical in.
And let's hook you up
with thousand-meg HDMI.
Let's go with this one.
Uh, it costs a little bit more,
but the carbon's
way more conductive.
Hey, Gary. Um...
- I really need to talk to you about something.
- Later, kid.
Okay. Cool.
Later... you want, like...
want, like, 30-30 minutes?
Like, a solid 45?
Excuse me, sir?
Hi. I'd like
to make an appointment
for you to come over and...
lay some cable.
Okay. Uh... oh, Robin.
Oh, dear, dear, Robin.
Um, that doesn't mean
what you think it means.
Um, "laying cable" means sex.
No, "laying pipe" means sex.
"Laying cable" means
you want me
to come over to your house
and just take a big, old shit.
- That's disgusting.
- Well, okay.
But you...
Who-who said it, though?
Okay. Are you ready?
Despite your best efforts,
I'm actually still hungry.
I'm actually more hungry now.
- Where are we gonna go after all this hot talk?
- I don't know.
- You know?
- More importantly, where are we gonna go
to lay some cable afterwards?
Geez.
So, did you ask him?
- Who?
- Gary.
Did you ask Gary for the raise?
Yeah. Yeah. It was... it was a...
Look, it was a crazy day,
and-and he was super busy,
but tomorrow for sure. Yes.
Okay.
What was I supposed to do,
kick his door down?
Like Homelander?
I said "okay."
Yeah, but you didn't mean it.
Hey, I see the look.
I see it. Come on.
This is like when
we started dating.
I don't think that's...
I don't think that's true.
Dude, I had to ask you out.
Well, excuse me for waiting.
You ever hear of chivalry?
Listen, this is about you
getting what you deserve.
I'm killing myself at school
because I think it's gonna be
worth it for both of us.
You know,
if we move in together.
Wait, what? What?
W-W-Wait. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey. What was that?
What'd you just say?
Well, I mean, we can't keep,
you know, laying pipe
at your dad's place.
Trying to be all quiet.
Staring up at that dumb
Billy Joel post...
- ...poster.
- Hey.
Don't you ever besmirch
Billy Jo...
I can't stop. I can't stop.
I can't stop. I can't stop.
Can't stop. Can't stop.
Robin?
Robin?
Robin!
Robin!
Let the energy
go through the wall.
I am Starlight.
I'm 110 pounds,
and I'm five foot six.
Turn around, please.
Okay. Let's see it, dear.
- You should look away.
- Sorry?
You should turn away
from the camera,
and you should close your eyes,
or else I'll blind you.
All right.
Okay, go ahead.
I am so sorry.
Are you all right?
I was born Super-Abled.
Uh, my mom was thrilled.
She took me to all
the little miss hero pageants,
but I hated it.
Ugh, I mean, I can still...
smell the hairspray.
Uh, but...
...at the Q and A, they always
asked me what my wish was,
and I always said,
"to save the world."
And the judges just chuckled
like it was cute.
But it wasn't a joke to me.
Since when
did "hopeful" and "naive"
become the same thing?
I mean, why would you
get into this business
if not to save the world?
That's all I have ever wanted.
And that's why
I've always wanted
to be in The Seven.
Thanks, Jennifer.
Thought Robin's service
was nice.
Did you see
how many people came?
Wow.
Lot of respect for that girl.
Lot of love in the room.
And the spread. What a spread.
Just really nice.
That does not begin to convey
the terrible regret...
Aw, geez.
Maybe there's a movie on.
- No, keep it.
- No, we can switch it.
Keep it.
...awful, tragic loss.
My deepest condolences
to Robin Ward's family.
I was chasing
these bank robbers.
She just stepped
in the middle of the street,
and I-I couldn't...
Middle of the...
She was a half step
off the fucking curb.
Oh, now, come on, Hughie.
Just, uh, don't get upset, okay?
Just...
He knows.
...swift,
thoughtful attention...
Now I think that A-Train
would like to get back to work.
Everyone at Vought is just...
just wrecked about Robin.
Now, you two weren't married,
and look,
technically,
there's no legal claim.
But...
Vought wants to do
the right thing:
offer you $45,000
in restitution.
All you have to do is sign
right here,
and I'll offer you the check.
This is
a confidentiality agreement.
It's a boilerplate NDA.
I sign this, and...
I can't talk about it?
Have to pretend
like it didn't happen,
like I wasn't holding
Robin's arms in my hands?
Look, I know you're upset,
but we're just trying to help.
Then say you're sorry.
Excuse me?
I mean, you people say
"our condolences"
and "my sympathies"
and "our regrets,"
but nobody can look me
in the fucking eye
and say "I'm sorry."
I'm not signing anything.
Get out.
I said get the hell out!
You okay?
As I said,
boilerplate NDA, really.
Pretty standard stuff.
Can I think about it?
If you have
any questions at all,
just, uh...
Unit 44, code 20.
Address is 1420 63rd Street...
Any maniacs out there?
Mm-mm. Quiet night.
Like every night.
That's too bad.
We could really use the press
right now.
Oh, Annie.
I'm hungry.
Don't worry.
I didn't get the job.
You don't know that.
They're auditioning girls
nationwide.
Besides,
Countess probably got it.
She's so good in a room.
If you're negative,
negative things happen to you.
Hello?
Yes, I'm her mother.
Uh, yes. Uh...
uh, one moment.
It's them.
It's them.
Hello?
Yes, this is she.
I got it?
You got it!
You got it!
Shh.
Oh, my God.
Uh, I'm so... I'm so sorry.
It's a weird connection.
I don't know what that was,
actually.
Uh... Mm-hmm.
Oh, shit.
Yeah?
I think she was an addict.
Needle tracks?
12 marks on one arm.
More dope coming in.
More pushers at work.
What you doing?
Can't file a criminal case
against A-Train.
Supes are like cops.
They can't be charged
- for damages while they're on the job.
- Okay.
But maybe we can file
a wrongful death.
I just got to get Robin's
parents to sign off on it.
- Hughie, come sit with me.
- Dad, I'm not...
I'm right...
Okay.
Good for you.
You want to make this right,
what happened to Robin.
But you can't.
So sign this.
What?
This is a lot of money, Hughie.
We could really use it.
I can't... Dad, they killed her.
Be realistic, okay?
Even if we could pay
for a lawyer...
and that's a big if...
there's no case.
She was in the street.
- Be like if a bus hit her.
- Dad, she was one step
- off the curb.
- I...
- I saw it!
- Hughie, look. Look.
- You can't do this.
- Why not?
- Dad, I have...
- You don't have the fight.
You never have.
I'm sorry, but it's-it's true.
Neither do I.
Now...
come and...
come and sit with me, okay?
Remington Steele's on.
Hughie! Where you going?
...the red carpet
outside of Vought headquarters,
here for the annual
shareholders presentation...
There she is.
Welcome to New York.
I'm Ashley Barrett,
director of talent relations.
So, uh, are all these people
here for me?
Oh, honey.
Who else
would they be here for?
Come on.
We're running late.
Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is without a doubt
a good time
to be in the Superhero business.
Our net income is up 14%.
Our latest film,
G-Men: World War,
just grossed shy
of $1.7 billion world-wide.
And this fall, we break ground
on our newest theme park
outside of Paris.
The branding opportunities
are limitless.
But, you know,
none of that really matters.
Because job one is managing,
supporting,
and advising the brave heroes
who put themselves in
harm's way each and every day
for us.
Let's take a look.
A world without crime,
with liberty
and justice for all,
that's within our reach,
thanks to the 200-plus
Superheroes
in the Vought Family.
We see a bright future ahead,
where there is a Vought Hero
in every town.
You're doing really well,
by the way, so far.
I-I haven't done anything yet.
Yeah, exactly.
You're already up
two-and-a-half points
with Midwesterners
and conservative Christians
in 18 to 49.
That speech, by the way,
your audition...
It was modest;
it was humble.
Really fucking smart choice.
Uh, I-I meant it.
Yeah, that's why we love you.
So you ready for your life
to change?
...including the jewel
in Vought's crown,
the greatest superhero team
the world's ever seen:
The Seven.
That is our job,
our honor.
We are Vought.
We make heroes super.
I have a very exciting surprise
for you.
Both a member of The Seven,
and Lord of the Seven Seas,
live and in person, the Deep.
Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
After a long,
distinguished career
with The Seven,
my good friend, the Lamplighter,
has retired.
Let's give him
a big "thank you."
What do you say?
Thank you, Lamplighter!
But now,
as we turn towards the future,
I'd like to introduce someone
very special.
And I, for one, can't wait
to work with her.
Please welcome Starlight.
Go. Go. That's you.
- Ooh, look at that.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Starlight and the Deep.
Oh. Hi.
I love you, Starlight!
We love you!
Hey, buddy, you okay?
Hey, buddy!
Wow.
Pretty cool, huh?
Oh, hey, check this out.
We have two
World View-4 satellites
in geocentric orbit.
We can essentially read
a getaway car's license plate
from 380 miles up.
That is just...
I mean...
G... I was working with
a police scanner
that I bought on eBay.
Yeah, well,
not anymore you're not.
Oh, and wait till you
check out the dining room.
We, uh, may or may not
have stolen Miro
from Gramercy Tavern.
Yeah, he's
fan-fucking-tastic.
That's his, isn't it?
Homelander's? Yeah.
But you'll have your own soon.
Here. Come on.
Give it a test drive.
Come on.
O-Oh, you-you okay?
It's just...
I used to stand in the mirror,
pretending to be
where I am right now.
You know something?
On my first day, I, uh...
Well, I-I felt like a fraud.
Yeah. But the good news is,
everybody feels that way.
Thank you.
And, hey, we're a team now.
We'll help each other out.
I bet growing up you had
a poster of Homelander
on your wall, huh?
No, actually, I...
I don't know, Homelander's so...
He's like Jesus or something.
If you want to know the truth,
I actually had a poster of you.
Really?
- Yeah. Yeah. I kind of...
- Oh.
I kind of had
a schoolgirl crush on you.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
I hope that's not
inappropriate to say.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not inappropriate at all.
It's just, it's kind of wild.
What?
I mean, you said you had
a crush on me.
I figured that, you know...
- That is...
- Whoa, whoa, wh-wh-whoa, hey.
Look, you're gorgeous.
I'm not... I'm not talking
about sex,
just a little bit
of pole-smoking.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
It's just a question of how bad
you want to be in The Seven.
Excuse me?
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Take it easy.
Settle down. We're just,
we're just talking.
And look, I know
that you're powerful.
I get it.
Your powers are no joke.
The thing is...
I am number two around here.
So, like, if I say so,
you know, you'd be out of here.
Especially since
you attacked me.
I what?
Yeah. Look.
I mean, Iowa's sweetheart,
the Defender of Des Moines,
just went psycho on the Deep.
I mean, that...
that could put you
out of the business.
Yeah.
I mean, home to Mommy,
tail tucked between your legs.
Just think of all those kids.
I mean, the kids.
Those kids who look up to you,
they'd just be shattered.
I mean, th-that's not
what you really want, right?
Or we come together as a team.
You and me, we just roll
with the punches,
for, like, three minutes, maybe.
It's not a big deal.
And then you know what happens?
All your dreams come true.
I-I'm sure you guys
have all heard
that Translucent stopped
a home invasion
in Yonkers last night,
a young, single mother
and her two kids.
Just incredible. Just...
So tell us, how are you able
to-to vanish?
No, I don't actually vanish.
My skin turns into this
carbon meta-material
that bends the light.
Like an invisibility cloak.
All right,
but just to be clear,
you have to be
completely naked, right?
I appreciate you coming on
the show, my man. I love you.
You guys stay tuned for
a behind-the-scenes look
at Invisible Force 2, and
later, Translucent himself...
You interested in a nanny cam?
'Cause we're actually running
a special on that.
Um, it's a pretty popular bear.
There's cameras in the eyes.
Tell me,
how many nannies shake
their babies?
Uh, I'm sorry?
You know, a good...
hard shake, like...
like tryin' to get ketchup
out of a bottle.
One percent? Less?
I-I don't really know.
Funny, that.
They sell a billion dollars
worth of that shit worldwide.
Goes to show you, doesn't it?
The bollocks people
will believe
if you get them scared enough.
Cool.
Cool, cool.
Um...
Is there anything I can
help you with today, or...?
I'm not gonna piss you about,
Hughie.
I heard what happened to Robin.
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
who are you?
She wasn't in the street.
She was one step off
the fucking curb.
And you didn't take the pay-off.
Yeah. I said,
who the hell are you?
How do you know that?
Name's Butcher.
Billy Butcher.
Listen, I was thinking that, uh,
you and me should have
a little bit of a chat.
Y-You're a Fed?
You don't sound like a Fed.
What, I can't immigrate?
There's a giant green slapper
with her ass in the harbor
that says different.
You don't really look
like one, either.
No? What do I look like?
Like you're starring in
a porn version of The Matrix.
Well, it's all right there
in black and white.
Okay. Uh, what exactly
can I do for you?
No, you got it all wrong,
Hughie.
It's what I can do for you.
You see, you ain't alone, son.
It happens a lot more
than you think.
Supes lose hundreds of people
each year to collateral damage.
No. Come on, that'd be
all over the news.
People would be screaming
bloody murder.
Yeah, look, there might be
the odd mention
of it now and again,
like with Robin,
but there's a fuck-sight more
that happens
that just gets swept
right under the rug.
Why?
Ain't it obvious?
Movie tickets, merchandising,
theme parks, video games.
A multi-billion dollar
global industry supported
by corporate lobbyists
and politicians on both sides.
But the main reason
that you won't hear about it
is 'cause the public don't
want to know about it.
See, people love that cozy
feeling that Supes give them.
Some golden cunt
to swoop out of the sky
and save the day
so you don't got
to do it yourself.
But if you knew half the shit
they get up to...
Ooh...
Fuckin' diabolical.
But then...
that's where I come in.
Come in to... to do what?
Spank the bastards
when they get out of line.
How do you spank a Supe?
Come on, son.
Uh, where?
You'll love it.
Uh, not likely.
Uh, listen.
I think this is good; I'm good.
Uh, thank you for
an extremely weird conversation,
but, uh, I don't want to go
to a second location with you.
So, I'm gonna get back
to work.
Thank you.
Hughie! Hughie.
This is your one and only, mate.
Once I go, I'm gone.
I'm offering you the opportunity
to get them that got your girl.
What have you got to lose
that you ain't already lost?
Where are we?
Keep your mouth shut.
Harry.
Got your message.
Thank you for being
an upstanding citizen.
You know this is fucking
police brutality, man.
You know what they'll do to me,
they catch me letting you in?
Not half of what I'll do
if you don't.
Did he just say
you were police?
Yeah, you know, cop, Fed,
all the same to twats like that.
Holy shit.
Pick your jaw up off the floor
and try to blend in.
This is the only place
where the Supes can scratch
their filthy little itch
without the paps taking snaps.
Wait, wait, wait.
That's Ezekiel.
The "Capes for Christ" guy...
preaches all that...
"pray the gay away" shit.
And now he's
the meat in the Manwich.
Fucking hypocrite.
Keep going forward.
That's it. Further.
Further.
There. There.
- Stop.
- Wait, wait, wait.
A-Train's...
A-Train's here right now?
Was. This is from last night.
Turn it up.
I cannot believe
you ran through a bitch.
You want to hear
something crazy?
I ran so fast
through this bitch
that I swallowed
one of her molars.
Like a bug
on the fucking freeway.
Dude, that's nasty.
They're laughing.
Just... Like she's a joke.
They're fucking laughing.
So what are you
gonna do about it?
Oh, for Chrissakes.
Clean yourself up.
Never let them see you
like this.
Translucent,
you're a goddamn pervert.
Ah...
Oh, uh...
I'll just go.
They're all like that?
All of them?
Even Homelander?
Homelander's the exception.
He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke.
Man's a saint.
But the rest of 'em, yeah.
Pardon my French,
fuck those fuckers.
Here.
Have a shufti of that.
- What are these?
- That's the police log
the day that Robin got murdered.
Couple of bar fights.
A few cars got nicked.
But you know
what's not in there?
No bank alarms going off.
No one charged
at Central Booking.
A-Train stopped
two bank robbers, my arse.
Someone's fucking
hiding something.
- Hiding what?
- Well, I don't know,
whatever dodgy shit
he was up to that night.
Why couldn't he stop?
I mean, what was in that bag?
You know?
Who was he running from?
- Or where was he running to?
- Bingo.
Work that out, and we'll have
the fucker, I can smell it.
Okay.
Okay, so, um...
what can I do to help?
Here's what you do.
Ring Vought, tell 'em you'll
take the money, sign the NDA,
but only if A-Train's there
in person when you do it.
Why does A-Train need
to be there?
Then they'll take you
into The Seven Tower,
through security, mate,
- and then you're gonna plant a bug.
- A bug?
A bug. And we'll have
a little listen.
See what's really going on.
Okay, let me just... sorry,
let me just get this straight.
You want me to... you want me
to go to Seven Tower by myself,
and-and you want me
to plant a bug,
like I'm... what,
like I'm fuckin' James Bond?
- Yeah, exactly. You got it.
- You're FBI.
If you're FBI,
then get a warrant.
- Why do you... why do you even need me?
- Hughie, Hughie,
look, mate,
I got a warrant, all right?
But that place is firewalled,
untappable,
and locked up tighter
than a nun's knickers.
I couldn't get myself in there
in a million years.
But you, son, you could do it.
- No, no, I can't, okay?
- Yeah.
I can't. No. You didn't see
A-Train covered in...
And-and I'm, what, I'm
just supposed to go in there,
and I'm supposed to...
I'm supposed to shake his hand?
- And smile?
- Yeah.
I'm not... Do you know
who my favorite musician is?
- Who?
- James Taylor.
Number two, Simon & Garfunkel.
Number three, Billy Joel.
Any of those guys,
they don't infiltrate.
Okay? I'm not an infiltrator.
Hughie, Hughie,
fucking grow a pair.
You heard that cunt
laughing at your girl.
No. No. No.
No, I can't.
I can't do that.
I'm sorry,
I'm just gonna fuck it up,
and you're not
gonna have your bug...
...and I'll be dead.
I'm not... I'm not like you.
This is amazing, Madelyn.
Thank you for this.
My kid is gonna lose his mind.
Ah, it is our pleasure.
Just do not sell it online.
All right.
What are you thinking?
Baltimore is a beautiful town.
But you've got a problem.
Your homicide rates
are up, what, 62%?
The police
are not closing cases.
You're on the verge
of needing a federal lifeline.
Cut to the chase, Madelyn.
Who are you proposing?
Nubian Prince.
Fits your population's demo,
but not too militant.
Caucasians love him,
too, with a...
59% approval rate.
I am willing to give you
a three-year exclusive contract
with full PR support,
and I'm gonna give you
nine and a half points
of the merchandising.
I thought he was in Detroit.
Well, we're thinking
about making a move.
How much?
$300 million a year.
I know, I know,
it's a tough swallow.
But we both know that
your city needs a hero.
$200 million for Nubian Prince.
- I can sell that.
- Mm.
I'm sorry, Steve, I can't do it.
We've got Atlanta waiting
in the wings.
I think maybe you can.
And why is that?
I happen to know
about Compound V.
What is Compound V?
It's the type of rumor
that could really tarnish
those heroes of yours.
Nobody wants that.
People need heroes.
Now, I can make sure
that that stays a rumor,
because I'm a friend.
But friendship
does cut both ways.
I'm sorry, Steve, I don't know
what you're talking about.
$300 million is the price,
or we go to Atlanta.
So, how amazing is it?
What's Homelander like?
Uh... he's busy.
I haven't really
met him yet, but...
Mom, I got to tell you
what happened.
Oh, I forgot.
I was playing mah-jongg
with Patty and Trish,
and Patty is going on and on
about how her daughter
got into med school,
and I'm thinking, so what?
My daughter got into The Seven!
Anyway, so-so,
what did you want to tell me?
Everything's great.
Just how we dreamed.
Um...
Mom, actually, you know what?
I have to go.
All right. Bye, honey.
Um...
excuse me.
I'm sorry, a-are you okay?
Just seemed like a...
tough call.
Sorry.
I don't mean to bother you.
No, no, it's okay.
Uh...
I'm fine.
I'm just...
I'm just having a bad day.
Yeah, me, too.
Uh... is it, like,
a-a work thing, or...
a-a life thing?
It's a work thing.
You?
Uh... life thing.
You know how you have this...
image of yourself?
Like, I thought I was strong.
You know?
Like, made of steel.
A fighter.
And...
then I was faced
with this horrible situation
with this asshole...
and...
I just heard my mom's voice
in my head,
"Keep smiling,
the show must go on,"
and... I didn't fight.
And now I just feel sick.
Partly because I did it, but...
mostly because...
...turns out I'm
not who I thought I was.
- Oh. Oh, I'm, um, sorry.
- Uh...
I-I didn't mean
to just dump all of that
- onto you.
- No, no, it's totally fine that you dumped. Um...
Listen, d-do you like your job?
Oh.
It's the only thing
I've ever wanted.
And it's a good job?
Like, you're not
selling kids smack?
No, it's a great job.
I could help a lot of people.
Thing is, I, um...
used to know this girl,
and we used to go skating
at Rockefeller,
and I'd be on the side
with this death grip
on the rails.
She would just charge headfirst
into the middle of the rink.
And she wasn't... good.
Like, she fell...
a lot...
but she was never scared.
And she always used to say:
"Just 'cause you fall
on your ass doesn't mean
you have to stay there."
So you fell on your ass,
you know?
That's not who you are.
So who are you?
I'm a fighter.
I'm gonna fight.
Yeah.
I'm gonna take
that son of a bitch's head
- clean off his body.
- Okay. Wow, that was...
Okay.
Cool.
Little scary, but...
but-but cool.
I'm-I'm Hughie, by the way.
Annie.
Okay, man. I'm in.
Okay, it's ringing.
Yeah, hello?
Hi. Hi.
Yes, hello.
Hello, Mr. Friedman.
It's Hughie Campbell.
I got your message,
and-and $45K, it's just...
it's just... it's bingo,
like, life-changing.
Um, but I just need one thing
before I-I sign anything.
I need an apology
- from A-Train.
- Uh, he already apologized.
Well, no, no, no.
No, he hasn't.
Yes, he sent his...
he sent his regrets
and his sympathies on...
on TV, but I-I...
if I could just get
an apology face-to-face,
that would be fantastic.
Just to... just for closure,
just to put...
just to put a b-button on it.
Okay, yeah. But, uh...
Hugh, I'm telling you,
the answer's gonna be no.
All right, in that...
in that case, can you
just give me... Uh, hello?
I think... They hung up.
I don't think
they're gonna go for it.
Hmm. Oh, yes, they will.
Starlight.
Don't want to be late
to your first official meeting.
I had a whole
welcome speech planned.
Sorry, sir.
Please, Homelander's fine.
Beginning to wonder
if you'd even show up.
I mean, all that pressure,
it's a lot
for anyone to swallow.
Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be fine.
I'm here,
and I'm not going anywhere.
Can we get back to this, please?
This is a serious crime.
These assholes pirated my movie
three weeks before release,
and you can't walk down
5th Avenue
without bumping into a table
of unlicensed Homelander shirts.
Copyright infringement
is costing Vought
$1.2 billion per year.
That's money out of our pockets.
We've all got, what,
four points each?
What the fuck?
You got four points?
And clearly better lawyers.
Hey, hey, hey, guys, come on.
Stop.
What's Starlight gonna think?
Listening to us haggling
over nickels.
We're The Seven, for God's sake.
Whether we're out there
or we're in here.
Now, what I do want to hear
is who you saved this week.
Huh?
Who's up for that?
Black Noir.
Let's start with you, man.
Do you have a dog?
No.
All right, give us your phone.
There's fuck-all security
to worry about.
In fact,
they're a bunch of muppets.
And the metal detector
won't pick this up.
Right? And what
they'll probably do is take you
through the security
and then up into the boardroom.
Sit down. Be nice, congenial.
Then, real polite-like, tell 'em
you're gonna take a fake shit.
Go into the bog,
take the bug out.
Peel back the plastic bit
to reveal the sticky side.
Put the plastic bit in the bog.
Flush it.
Then go back into the boardroom,
sit down... big smiles...
plant the bug
underneath the table.
Easy peasy Japanesey.
Bob's your uncle. That's that.
- That's that? That was... that was a lot.
- Yeah.
Th... I've... Hold on, can you
just... can you repeat it again?
Just a little bit slower?
Because I...
Shh. Listen.
- Fuck.
- Hughie, calm down, all right?
This is like that scene
in The Matrix.
Now, you could take
the fucking red pill, right?
Spend the rest of your life
jacking off,
crying into your chai tea
green latte,
what the fuck. Or...
you could take the blue pill.
Or is it the red pill?
Anyway, take the other pill
- and quit being a cunt.
- Which pill do you want me to take?
Just quit being a cunt.
That's what I'm saying.
Fuck me. Okay.
Sir, could you empty
your pockets, please?
Thank you.
Um...
excuse me, can-can I, uh...
can I use your bathroom?
Just to be clear,
A-Train's apology
isn't an admission of any sort
of culpability whatsoever.
Do you understand?
I'm sorry about what
happened to your girlfriend,
all right?
Hey, dude, are you okay?
Fine.
I appreciate the apology.
Accidents happen, right?
After all,
I mean,
you were saving the world.
Okay, great.
Thank you so much. As you know,
a crimefighter's work is never
done. Douglas here will handle
the rest of the paperwork
for you, okay? Thank you.
Can I use your bathroom?
What the fuck?
And I look him right in the eye,
and I smile.
And that was awesome, man,
just getting to stare
that asshole down.
I get why you dig this job.
Yeah, you know, it has
its moments, doesn't it?
You were right.
Fuck A-Train.
Fuck A-Train.
Fuck-fuck The Seven.
Fuck all... Seven.
What are we, uh...
what are we doing here?
Well, you got to go
to work, don't you?
Yeah, but, um,
I don't, uh...
Well, I mean, that's all
I need you for right now, yeah?
Yeah, I mean, but I-I can...
I can help with other stuff,
you know?
I could... I could be,
like, your tech guy.
You know? Like, I could be
in the van with the thing
and, like, you know, "He's down
the hall to the left."
Like, I can...
Yeah, look, son, I, uh...
I think it's best
that I take it from here.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, but I-I can...
I can really help.
I know you can help.
I got it.
Oh, w...
Oh, hey, wait.
You ever see an asshole
tear up $45K?
Hughie.
You're a good lad.
Ms. Stillwell,
I wasn't sure you'd call.
This fucking chafes, but, um...
I'm willing to come down to
$230 million for Nubian Prince.
That's very reasonable, Maddie.
Thank you.
And, Steve,
this, um, Compound V,
any rumors you may have heard
about my heroes...
libelous and completely untrue.
But we all know
how rumors spread,
so... I'd appreciate
your discretion.
Of course.
You have my word.
Thank you.
Have a safe flight home.
Policing cities is
a thorny enough issue as it is,
but allowing superheroes
into national defense?
We'd basically be
privatizing war.
Good night, Hughie.
You'll lock up?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thanks, Gary.
Sorry, we're closing up.
Hello?
Who are you?
The fuck?
Right in front of you, prick.
You think I wouldn't find
this thing?
Hughie.
You pussy, I followed you
from the fucking Tower.
No, no, no!
Who's that guy you were with,
in the car?
- Who was he?!
- I don't...
- He put you up to this?
- I don't know!
He was just some Uber driver,
okay?
Don't give me some bullshit!
Uber driver!
Do you think
I'm a fucking idiot?
- Why'd you plant the bug?
- Please.
Please, please, please.
No, please.
We're The Seven,
Earth's most mighty,
champions of the innocent,
motherfucker!
Sorry about the mess.
You should fuck off, Hughie.
Hughie, run!
Well, well, well,
if it ain't the invisible cunt.
There you are.
So who are you?
Fucking spy?
For who? Huh?
You're gonna fucking tell me,
or I'm gonna smash
your fucking scalp off!
Who the fuck are you?!
I'll tell you who you are.
A fucking moron.
"Translucent"
doesn't even mean "invisible."
It means "semi-transparent."
Is he... is he dead?
Is he...
Well, he ain't moving.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
How'd you know the electric
could do the job?
Skin's carbon.
Highly conductive.
Saw it on, uh, Jimmy Fallon.
Would've taken me forever
to work that one out.
Good job.
Let's get him in the boot.
Wait, wait, what?
Wait, what? What?
The trunk.
No, no, I mean, what are we...
what are we...
what are we doing with him?
Well, Hughie, you just offed
one of The Seven, mate.
Me? I...
You-you hit him
with a fucking car!
Look, potato, fucking po-tah-to.
We're both in a shitload
of trouble.
No, no, no, we're not!
It's... It...
He-he attacked us, okay?
And you're-you're
a federal officer, you know?
Just-just call the fucking FBI.
Yeah, o-okay, so, look,
technically, I'm not a Fed.
What?!
Then who the fuck are you?!
Don't worry about it, kiddo.
It's just a little turbulence.
It'll be okay.
Whoa.
Dad. Dad. Dad!
What's he doing out here?
Are you guys friends?
Oh, my God.